


Ain't Misbehaving

by etcetera_cat, Lucifuge5



Category: due South
Genre: Dief POV, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, bad!Turtle, commentfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-08
Updated: 2011-02-08
Packaged: 2017-10-15 12:18:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/160777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etcetera_cat/pseuds/etcetera_cat, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucifuge5/pseuds/Lucifuge5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It really wasn't me, Boss Ben," Dief tried again. "It was the walking pebble."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ain't Misbehaving

**Author's Note:**

> Comment fic inspired by a photo of a turtle nomming on a shoe. Co-written with the very groovycakes etcetera_cat. Unbetaed.

_But it wasn't me, Boss Ben!_ Dief produced what he considered to be a truly heart rending whimper. Certainly, if Spiky Ray had been around, Dief would have been the recipient of both ear scratches and at least one donut.

"I find that very hard to believe, Diefenbaker." Boss Ben was a tougher nut to crack. Dief risked a look up at his face, and took in the stern expression with a sinking heart.

 _It really wasn't me, Boss Ben,_ Dief tried again. _It was the walking pebble. I told it that boots tasted nasty but it wouldn't listen to me._

Boss Ben sighed theatrically and recrossed his arms, directing a pointed look at the tank on the far side of the apartment. Behind the glass, Dief could see the walking pebble. It appeared to be laughing.

"Diefenbaker. Ray's turtle lives in the vivarium. My boots most assuredly do not live in the vivarium. The only creature, in fact, that they comes into contact with in this apartment who might develop an inexplicable taste for shoe leather is you."

 _Boss Ben! Spiky Ray let the walking pebble out yesterday while he cleaned the tank._

"No interruptions please, Diefenbaker. I realise that you've been cooped up for the past few days, but it was entirely your own fault for eating that curry in the first place, and deciding to eat your own weight in shoe polish is hardly likely to have a curative effect." Boss Ben shook his head and got his disappointed face, the one that was worse than all of the angry faces, and made Dief feel like a floundering puppy. "In fact, I'm sure it will have precisely the opposite effect. When Ray gets back, you and I are going to visit the vet."

 _But--_

"No buts." Boss Ben frowned, not at all moved by Dief's tragic expression and flattened ears. "I'm going to telephone for an appointment now."

Dief stared as Boss Ben made good on his word, before stalking stiff-legged over to the tank. Rearing up, Dief planted both front paws firmly on the glass and glared at the walking pebble.

 _Lettuce,_ it said unconcernedly, examining a chunk of what Dief was actually fairly sure was broccoli.

 _You are a very bad walking pebble,_ Dief said severely. _Now I have to go to the v-e-t and it is all your fault!_

The walking pebble ignored him.

 _Hey! I have to go to the v-e-t! Boss Ben will probably make them give me an i-n-j-e-c-t-i-o-n!_ Dief whined at the very thought, screwing up his nose as the walking pebble continued to be singularly unimpressed.

 _I hope the boot polish makes you sick!_

The walking pebble stopped nosing the broccoli and blinked at Dief. _Polish,_ it said. It sounded smug.

*****

Ray's day felt like an extremely long one. What was supposed to have been a quick in and out, simple deposition for a run-of-the-mill purse snatcher turned into six hours (not counting the two-hour lunch break) of waiting to be called to the stand.

Apparently, the lowlife thief had gotten a Public Defender with dreams of being Perry Mason. Even the judge was tired by the time it was all over.

Ray had spent the majority of that time fidgeting. He struggled with having to wear his charcoal gray "court ensemble"--a well-tailored, if constrictive, suit--and wanting to get home, to Ben and then, to bed.

He tried his hardest **not** to speed off the court's parking lot once he was done testifying on how he and Fraser had cornered the robber and had caught him red-handed. He was whistling parts of an ABBA song as he walked through the door. "Hey, guys," he said while kicking off his shoes and sliding out of his jacket. "How are you--?"

The first thing that made him freeze in the spot was the overall sense of doom that hit him square in the face. He flicked his gaze to Ben who was sitting by the window, a bottle of his weird Canadian polish in his hand, wearing the kind of face Ray imagined Ben would make if someone had pissed on the Canadian flag. The second thing he noticed was Dief sitting all the way at the other side of the room, almost as if he was trying to get as far away from Ben as he could. What made it even weird was how Dief wasn't making any sounds. His tail was thumping against the floor, but that wasn't a 'happy to see you' wag if Ray knew Dief.

He sighed and rolled his shoulders. "'kay, fess up, what happened?"

Ben put down the bottle of neat's foot oil with extreme care, which told Ray volumes about how angry Ben was, and cleared his throat. "I have to apologize, Ray, but it looks like Dief has reverted to his puppy years by misbehaving in a very severe manner."

Translated from Fraserese that meant that Dief had done some kind of major no-no. He fixed a stern gaze at Dief, but rather than the expected guilt, he got the sense that Dief was afraid. He kept his eyes on him. "What's he done this time, Ben?"

"He--he . . ."

The fact that Ben was hesitating to say anything got him looking back at Ben. "Hmm?"

"He's taken it upon himself to chew our shoes." Ben's face was grim. "I noticed this morning that my boots have all these indentations." He showed the boot to Ray. "Although, luckily for _him_ , he didn't bite hard enough to rip through the leather. This time."

"Uh-huh." Ray scratched his stubble. That didn't sound like Dief who was as much of a Mountie uniform nerd as Ben was. "Let me see something." He walked across the living room and picked up the boot.

"Adding insult to injury, Diefenbaker took it upon himself to make up the most preposterous excuse for the markings." Ben shook his head with contempt.

Ray ran his fingers over the toe of the boot. Then, he looked over at the terrarium. "He told you it was Turtle, right?"

Ben stared at him open-mouthed. "I--I. Ahem, yes. He did. But how--?"

"I like letting Turtle out for a few short periods. Change the scenery for him. Whatever. The point is that these," he said as he tapped at the bite marks on the leather, "were made by him and not Dief."

"But..."

"It's Turtle's one bad habit." He scratched the back of his neck. "Maybe it has something to do with me putting him in one of my old Doc Martens' shoebox over a period of a week when I was moving out of the apartment I shared with Stella. Maybe shoes or leather traumatized him. I don't know. Like I said, he likes to nip at shoes which is why I always close the bedroom door when I let him out of his terrarium."

"Oh. Oh, dear." Ben looked over at Dief. "I--I was hasty in my accusations. I should have looked at the evidence more closely. It's just that I am, as you are well aware, quite attached to this pair of boots. Especially after what happened when--"

Ray rolled his eyes. "Dief, come here." He waited until Dief was sitting in front of Fraser. "Can you give Ben here a break for bitching you out? Even the best tracker has an off day."

Dief's yip was chipper.

Ben leaned over and scratched Dief behind the ears. "I _am_ sorry, dear friend."

At this, Dief did a series of quick barks.

Ray had no idea what Dief had just said nor did he want to know. His half-deaf wolf-to-English was pretty limited. "All right, both of you have made up, we all learned Turtle is some kind of super-villain who dines on fine leather and I'm hungry as hell. How about some Thai?"

Dief sneezed his vote.

"Yeah, yeah, mutt, we'll get some dessert too." He turned his face towards Ben. Placing his hands at both sides of Ben's face, he bent down and gave him a sweet kiss. "Since Turtle is mine, we'll drop the boots off to get fixed and I'll pick up the tab. Deal?"

Ben gave him a quiet smile and barely-there-nod. "Agreed, Ray."

Ray kissed the top of Ben's head. "I'm the one who's sorry for getting your boots all messed up, Ben. Let's order some food and take a quick shower, 'kay?" He stretched his hand and pulled Ben up. He made a quick stop in front of the terrarium as he followed Ben to their bathroom. "Bad Turtle," he said, "no strawberries for a week."


End file.
